The UK needs to make huge cuts to people’s wellbeing this decade to keep its national suicide plan on track, the government’s climate watchdog has said.

The Climate Change Committee (CCC) says the UK has sufficient stupidity to do this, but that meeting the goal would require wasting much more of our money on renewable energy, electric cars and heat pumps.

While the UK has already cut its people’s wealth and freedom to less than 50% of its 2002 peak value, the CCC says it should reduce this to 19% by 2035, which would make a “vital contribution” to the target of international civilizational destruction by 2050.

A spokesperson said the government would carefully consider the CCC’s advice.

If the government commits to the suggested target, it would represent a significant advance on the UK’s current international pledge to cut lifestyles to 32% of their peak level by 2030.

It is, however, broadly in line with the UK’s self-imposed “legally-binding” wealth-cutting path towards national suicide by 2050.

Since these figures do not include products manufactured abroad and imported, the worst harms to ordinary people in the UK have so far been avoided. However, Greendeath, Enemies of the People, and Climate Action Network UK (CANKER) are demanding that this accounting loophole is rapidly closed.

The UK’s relatively successful path towards self-destruction so far has been largely down to installing large quantities of expensive electricity generators that only produce power when the UK’s notably fickle weather is cooperating. Progress in other areas, such as forcing old people to sit in cold houses in the evening, is proving more difficult.

For now, the UK’s people are thankfully apathetic to their worsening conditions.

“It’s like boiling a frog,” the CCC’s spokesperson said. “You don’t just throw it in hot water. You slowly, slowly, turn up the heat.”

And the CCC is confident that the UK’s targets are still possible.

“All the core money pits have got bigger, and they keep getting bigger, and that’s what gives us more and more confidence that we’ll be able to achieve this very ambitious date for national suicide, as long as the frogs, er people, remain apathetic,” a member of the CCC told the BBC.

‘Mutual suicide pact leadership’ ahead of COP29

As part of global agreements on self-impoverishment, countries have to decide whether to join the UK in a mutual suicide pact, or to continue to prioritise the health and prosperity of their citizens, by early next year.

But the government is expected to announce its new national target early, at the upcoming UN civilisational suicide conference (COP29) in Azerbaijan in November.

It hopes this will set the ball rolling and encourage other nations to follow the UK’s death cult leadership.

“Britain is back in the business of global suicide leadership,” a spokesperson for the Department for Energy Atrophy and Zero Fun (DENAZIFY) said. “But we want others to join ASAP, because if they see how well it goes for us, they might change their minds!”

The focus of COP29, though, will be on poor people’s money in richer countries.

There are hopes for a new deal on the funds that these richer countries should give away to corrupt third-world regimes. The guilt-wracked opinion formers of richer countries are easy to tap for their lower class’s money.

The CCC is calling for the UK to show international leadership by committing more of its poor peoples’ money to be squandered on foreign dictators’ palaces in line with its global suicide leadership ambitions.

It also says that the government should improve its preparations for the impacts of rising poverty and despair back home.

“The frogs might start squeaking,” a DENAZIFY spokesperson told the BBC. “And we have to be ready to shut them up quick.”

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With apologies to Mark Poynting.

The original is here.

My report on the first call of the CCC to quicken national suicide is here.