The official numbers are now in for 2015 and it’s been confirmed by all independent sources that levels of climate bullshit in 2015 shattered the record of previous years. Globally, over 59 million pieces of climate bullshit were produced in 2015. This was well above the previous record set in 2013 following the publication of the latest report from the International Panel of Climate Crap.
“Levels of climate bullshit have literally smashed the record books by miles this year,” said Professor Gareth Schidt of NBSB (National Bureau of Science Bullshit) , “and there can now be no doubt that human activity is to blame”.
Previous research had suggested that climate bullshit might have paused, or even stopped, but after the data had been adjusted correctly by expert analysts it became clear that there had been no slowdown at all—if anything, climate bullshit is likely accelerating.
“By running the models again using faster computers, we were able to show that claims about a plateau in bullshit were, in fact, bullshit in and of themselves,” said Schidt.
“Which is kind of ironic,” he bullshitted.
2015 was an El Copo year, and so the unprecedented levels of hype building up to the Paris conference in December may have been a significant factor in the record-breaking levels of bullshit. But according to Schidt, the bullshit record would probably still have been broken without the COP21 meeting.
A spokesman for the British Bullshit Corporation denied rumours that its own correspondent Robert Hairbrain was a significant contributor to 2015 BS levels.
Experts have warned that Government targets to reduce climate bullshit emissions to 80% of 1990 levels by 2030 may now be in jeopardy.